Bridge

I was sitting in the club lounge with my friend the English professor when a player bragged about making today’s slam.

“My play was masterful,” he crowed. “I discarded a spade on dummy’s ace of diamonds -- and another spade on the jack. West won and led a third diamond to the ten, and I threw the queen of spades. I took the ace of spades and got to dummy with trumps to ruff two spades. Dummy’s last spade was good, and I pitched my queen of clubs.

“If I rely on the spades for three tricks, I go down. Those are the true facts, and I claim that anyone else would have won less tricks.”

“His play was better than his English,” the prof said. “‘Masterful’ means domineering; he meant ‘masterly.’ There are no false facts, and ‘claim’ is no substitute for ‘assert.’ ‘Fewer’ was correct, not ‘less.’”

“I hate to hear someone flout his play,” I said.

“You’re hopeless,” the prof sighed. “‘Flout’ means to treat with contempt. The word you want is ‘flaunt,’ a boastful display.”