Contested

LISTEN, enough with Awards. Oscars, Tonys, SAGs, Grammys, Emmys, Golden Globes, Golden Peacocks, Silver Peacocks, BAFTAs, Obies, DGAs, Palme d’Ors, Critics Choices, Olympics, Codas, Gothams, People’s Choices, Junos, Peabodys, Nobels, Best Dresseds, Indie Spirits, whatever Cannes’ thing is, MTV Video Awards, Film Independent something somethings, National Board of Review.

What’s next: Cheapest Plumber? Shortest Exterminator? Lousiest Landlord? Dumbest President?

Sunday night’s Grammy Awards brought out Taylor Swift, but what’s next: a prize for Coziest Socks?